What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
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She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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