I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
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I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize