dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
