Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
How naked do you want me to be?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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