I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
she pinky promised me she was 18
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
they're like a gay fantastic four
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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