I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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