Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
