Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
