Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
