You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize