Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize