So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize