I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
