I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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