Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Randomize