Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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