idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
