is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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