yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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