i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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