i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize