If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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