Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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