i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
