Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
