I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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