I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize