I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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