I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Barsexuality is the new black.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
