i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize