It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
