This girl is more easily done than said...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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