she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Can you bring me the toilet please
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
