My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
