what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
