I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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