so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
