There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Randomize
