I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
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After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
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You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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