her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize