i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
