he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
