Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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