so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
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