just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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