why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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