Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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