Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I want her autograph on my taint
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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