She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Damn victory sex feels great
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
