Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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