why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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