I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize