He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize