He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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