I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
