They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
